


I'm so sorry--different chapters

by Kkmind



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dark, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:40:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27118340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkmind/pseuds/Kkmind
Summary: Based of my other fanfic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575809/chapters/26011029This is just a compilations of chapters of different scenarios, perspectives and choices. While some elements might make a return (so tiny spoilers for later chapters)  None of these chapters happened or will happen in the main fanfic
Relationships: Princess Daisy/Luigi
Kudos: 1





	I'm so sorry--different chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This would of taken place at the end of chapter 11. This is Luigi's POV. The reason I'm not including this is because I'd had a plan to keep Luigi muted for a few more chapters for a stronger pay off, also with a lot of plots already in the fic adding a self harm element would be to much for me to juggle then bring everything to a natural conclusion. (when I finally finish it in, like, 2 years, lol.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whelp, been away for more than a year *insert joke about being busy and having new interest* but here's some angst for the time being.  
> also I hope you all know that this is a work of fiction and I in no way condone or glorify anything in here.   
> this chapter contains: Mild mention of eating disorders, mentions of sexual assaulted, a tiny, tiny mention of bestiality, self harm and suicidal thoughts.

I couldn't control myself. I'm, I'm breaking apart, failing to hold myself together. 

I'm can't control myself and you're looking at me as I'm falling apart under your bed. I can't believe you're watching me at my most lowest and pathetic state and you're somehow making me feel worse. Are you going to tell everyone? Are you going to kick me out? I wished you could-

"Do.. You want me to leave?" 

Do I?.. What little composure I had left, I nodded my head. 

Atlast, I can be left alone. 

"Okay.. " 

She sounded hurt.. Really hurt.

Was it me? 

Princess.. I-I didn't mean anything ill will towards you but It's not what you think! -it's one of the hardest things to explain but-I just 

**I don't want to see you.**

That, no, I, I'm sure I had a nicer version of what I'm saying, if I can just.. 

I hear you walking away from me and I wish I could tell you but it feels so foreign, like I lost my ability to do that one simply thing! 

I wish I could thank you, I know that will make you feel better.. I don't know what I want to thank you for..

.. 

.. 

Reaction 

Your reaction, when I gave you your birthday present? you'd thought I would forget? Well I-I apologise but I.. I did too, until I went into my- I mean, me and my brother's room. That's when-

"I'm sorry Luigi It was not my intention to offend you" 

Oh.. 

She's gone now..

... 

It just me now, under the covers and in a complete mess .. 

I guess I should stop this useless crying, I'm surprised I can still have any energy to cry. I steadily shuffle around to face away from the door, maybe if you came back you'll might think I'm sleeping then you can leave me alone again, for both our sakes. That's what I think you said anyway? Something about resting? You meant sleep right? Then ill wake up back to my chipper old self.. 

I wish that was true. 

I'm so tired... I blinked a few times under the covers.. Being awake feels terrible. I'm having this urge to, well, this morning I did something that made Mario very mad at me. I wished I never did that only because even though I only had a lousy one, I'm feeling the withdrawn form it. If only Mario let me bring the guy's coat.. I'm not thinking straight at all. I will do anything to not haves these thoughts again..

But I don't want to sleep.

I can't go through with that again, you don't understand what happened last time I slept. 

Nightmares, no, they are worse than that. The looming threat of it coming back if I let myself rest for even a second plagues me. 

I can feel my breathing pick up, oh no.. Not this again.. 

Make it stop.. 

I'll try to think about something else.. 

Like your reaction.. 

I'll be honest I thought my present would be the worst, I just saw it at the market and thought.. I don't know it was stupid of me. Unless.. I saw you smile then when you said something along the lines of "best gift received form anyone" 

That was the nicest thing ever said to me since.. 

Since.. 

This didn't help

I quickly poke my head out the covers, I hated the darkness under the covers even though they were they were like a (if I'm a loud to say) safety blanket to me. 

Your room is very nice, definitely didn't expect anything less from you, the only thing that was sticking out for all the wrong reasons was the pizza.. 

You had this pizza made for me? That's what I should have said thank you for.. Its a shame I'm not hungry but.. I know I got to have something and this was always one of my favourites. 

I'm still on edge as I pick up a non nibble slice (I did "say?" I didn't mind if you had one) I don't expect to much comfort for it as I slowly took a bite. 

... 

Something is wrong.. 

I keep chewing and chewing..

Chewing and chewing. 

Until there was nothing left. 

Was this meant to taste nice? 

When did eating suddenly become so hard? where was the comfort?

I need to take another bite, I know this isn't normal. As I keep chewing the second piece tears welled up in my eyes again. I.. Can't do it. I begrudgingly swallowed the bite and but the rest down. 

It feels terrible to eat, it feels so bland and fruitless, so much for delectable. 

You were trying to be nice, I know, but now I'm thinking you were just pretending. 

**You know what happened to me.**

Why else would you hug me?! Out there, in front of the whole crowd?! Where you trying to out me?! 

.. I'm getting worked up, I threw my hands on my head, gripping my hair so try to control my self. 

I didn't want to leave Mario, I know I was annoying him, the way he told me to go with you.. That hurts. 

I've made no attempt to wipe my tears way, why bother? They just keep coming back. 

That was her, wasn't it, Peach? Daisy.. 

Why was she looked behind the door? Why did you lead me away?

 **Was she angry at me?!**

I can't stay in this bed a second longer, I need to get up..

I shouldn't be like this, why was I am I still like this?! 

I wobbled momentarily as I stood up.. My first thought is the bathroom. 

When it was just the two of us, I kept staring at you, I tried to hide it.. 

There's a lock in your on suite bathroom.. 

I wish I can say it was because I was thinking about when to give you your birthday present. 

*click*

I rest my for head on the door, grinding my teeth. 

But I had another reason. 

You were great at acting, like you were okay with me. I suppose you sort of lost it when I never responded. 

I wish you didn't notice that though, maybe I would of not of broke right in front of you. 

I didn't speak because.. Because.. I suppose one of the many reasons was I keep digging a hole for my self, but I also feel myself close down whenever I feel like opening my mouth.

I then thought that now was the best time to give you it. You would of forgiven me. 

I kept watching you and..

I remember. 

Why do I have to remember this.. 

I no longer had the strength to stand as I slumped down with my back to the wall. 

**It's happening all over again**

The things he said about what happened, this stupid game of his. 

I never suspected he would have done this to me...

The way he look at me as he held me in the air. Kicking the air and even him, wishing for the safety to touch the ground. 

No no no.. Why I'm I doing this again?! 

I tried everything in my power to stop it! I did! I DID! 

The things he forced me to do! His disgusting.. 

I clawed at my my mouth the memory is still fresh as a corpse. I cradle myself but nothing was stopping my memories. 

I tried, I really did! Oh my god I tried! **I fought! I ran! I said no**!

Do you have any idea how it felt?!?! 

I'm back to being a complete mess again, my sobbing began anew and I'm glad nobody's here to see me. 

I kept saying no OVER AND OVER! IT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD DO! 

why.. WHY WAS MY BODY ACTING THE WAY IT DID BACK THERE?! WAS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?! 

I want to cut off my mouth so badly for what it did! What noises I made! 

Make it stop! 

THE PAIN.. IT WAS THE WORST I EVER ENDURED. IT KEPT BURNING AND BURNING EVERY HIT GETTING SOMEHOW WORSE AND WORSE! 

BUT IT WASN'T JUST THAT! 

MAKE IT STOP! 

HE TOLD ME, HE MADE SURE I KNEW THAT IT WAS MY FIRST TIME, TUNTING ME ABOUT BEING ALONE, TELLING ME THESE HORRIBLE INSULTS THEN LAUGHING AT MY FACE AS BEGGED HIM TO STOP!! 

THEN... then he finished. Gross.. Horrible... I looked down and with one arm, held my stomach tightly with the other my tear ridden face. I swear, Its still there. I would claw at my face until skin came off to remove this phantom stain. However, you all would notice and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I remember lying there not moving a muscle in absolute shock or fatigue. Foolishly thinking I would wake up in my bed with the worst nightmare in history, but when he picked me up, told me once again that I was a.. Forget it, it was more about Mario and how my whole ordeal was preventable. When he dropped like I was nothing. I realise, I'm still in this nightmare. 

.. 

What did I ever do to him to warrant this? Was it something I said? Do I want to know? ... Why did he do this to me? Why didn't he just.. Stop. 

He said it was my first time.. 

I feel sick.

It was pure horror, the way he touched me made me feel weak, sick and vulnerable, throwing me in the most humiliating positions. It wasn't gentle, it wasn't short and it wasn't even a human! It felt no different than a feral, filthy animal having its way with me! And I just let it happen. 

And as he said it, 

I feel like a whore. A dirty one. 

And he filmed it. 

Why? I don't know. Was it for his own sick pleasure? Blackmail? I doesn't seem like it, after all, you know, Daisy knows. 

Mario definitely knows. 

All my suffering and the stomach retching things that happened was captured and is out there.. 

Please I beg you, if you ever get your hands on it, never watch that tape. It might be the only bit a peace and sanity I have left. 

... 

I lifted my head up to stare down the light in the room. What I wouldn't do for another one of a..

I've.. Gone off topic, haven't I?

I can't help it, my mind is constantly jumping, none where ever in a good state and always goes back to that day.. And I keep forgetting, it's your birthday too. 

.. It's not your fault. I'm sure you have acknowledged it as well but I know you had no control either.. No, it was mine. 

I'm sorry for ruining you birthday. Why did I ever think running to Brooklyn on your birthday was a good idea?! I wasted Mario' s time and your time. Worse still, I ruined you happiness today by crying. Crying, it seems that's all I can do. 

When I saw you happy, I just, I don't know. 

I felt jealous, upset and angry

The way you smiled and spoke to me whether it was an act, didn't help as it only got to me thinking more. 

It was between you and me. And my brother chose you. You only got out of this with wasted time, I wish I was only that lucky! You probably thanked him didn't you? Because who knows if he didn't come! Somebody forbid it if he came for me! 

I didn't even acknowledge when my hands grip my hair again. 

All of this is hurting so much. Your birthday, what I'd said! What I did afterwards! 

You know, deep down, I wish I wasn't in this nightmare! Maybe 24 hours ago I would of told myself that I'd always put my friends first, protected you first! But now BUT NOW! 

**~~I WISH IT WAS YOU!!~~ **

I-.. I mean.. 

I'm sorry. 

I'm so sorry. 

Without thinking for more than a second my grip started pulling. 

What a selfish piece of shit I am! Why did I wish such a horrible thing on you! What was I thinking!? You shown kindness to me and this I how I repay you?! 

**MAKE IT STOP-ARGH!**

Suddenly my hands parted away. I recoiled in agony as I looked down in shock and open them.

Hair. 

Tuffs of it scattered in my hands while some strains floating down.

I..just pulled my hair out.

I immediately stumbled to the toilet to dispose of the mess. Was it too much? Did it leave a patch? I immediately investigated by the mirror. 

No, it wasn't. It was nothing a quick brush to the side couldn't fix. 

I took a step back to lean on the wall again. 

I.. 

I deserve this. 

I'm a useless piece of garbage. Who ruined birthdays, relationships and is nothing more than a stain in your kingdom. I could of fought more, but no, I'll let myself be used as a filthy toy for a monster. Then wished that you took my place. 

My emotions soon overwhelm me as I collapse sitting down. I feel so numb that I can't tell if I'm still crying. 

I deserve to feel this way no matter what anyone says I can tell they think that too! 

I don't know why I'm doing this.. 

I tucked my head into my chest preparing for the impact. 

To feel something other than misery?! Maybe to punish myself more? I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE! 

With all the force I could muster, I threw my head back to crash it into the wall with a smack. 

It's pounding.. I lay head back down in defeat. Why did I do that? I felt the back of my head where I smashed it. No blood. I didn't do it hard enough. But I don't want to leave any mess be. I hugged myself for comfort. With the new pain resending in my head it has distracted me from the memories. But I know they are coming back.. 

Everything is worse now, so much worse.

I want out. Not from the the bathroom, or the room. I want out from my head. 

I changed my mind. I don't to be alone. I wish I shacked my head. Then I wouldn't have done this. I wish someone can be here without any judgement towards me. I wish I had the power to tell someone what I'm thinking. Because now I'm having these scary thoughts, the ones nobody should have and would be afraid of to. 

But the thing is, 

I'm not afraid of them. 

That's what's scaring me the most. 


End file.
